Being a wedding planner, I see it all the time. Her eyes glisten with the thought of gorgeous bouquets, the idea of a DJ or a band, many different dress choices, the jewelry she will wear, pinning her perfect wedding on Pinterst, and so on and so on. Planning a wedding is so exciting! And for me it was the same way.

I loved, I mean absolutely loved planning my wedding! So many different things to plan, ideas to choose from, dresses- aaahhh, I could try wedding gowns on all day-. That’s the reason I became a wedding planner. I was that bride who wanted to be involved in the set up, setting out the decor, making sure every detail was just right… and then I was 30 minutes late for my hair appointment. HAH! I loved the planning process. Especially with Adam as my groom. He won best groom award for sure. The amount of times I heard, “Sure babe, that sounds great” was amazing! He was willing to give me anything and everything—within budget— and I couldn’t have been happier. Everything about our wedding was just absolutely perfect! We were happy, hungry, tired, but mostly happy! We had all of our loved ones there for us. The food was amazing, the drinks were flowing, the dance floor was packed… fun was had for sure! But what happen next, we weren’t prepared for.

It was over.

Gone.

In a blink of an eye, everything that we had spent so much time on, so much effort and money… it was over. I was so sad to leave. We had just left the best party we’ve ever been to! I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t prepared for what was going to happen next… MARRIAGE.

Before I go any further, let me give you the background of Adam and I. We met our junior year of high school at Tabb. He was the greasy curley headed, skateboarding, extremely loud, class clown, hole in the shirt wearing (I’m pretty sure there were more holes in the shirt then there was actual fabric), Mustang driving type of guy. He had me at Mustang— if you knew me and my family, you’d totally get it— Adam and I were assigned to partner together for a History Project, which we got an A+ on by the way 😉 and from there on out, it was all history from there… get it? HAHA! He was such a romatic guy! Young, and hopelessly in love, everyone in high school knew we would get married. We were that couple. Movies every weekend and plaza azteca for dinner. He drove me to my little minimum wage job at Factory Card Outlet (Another reason I think I became a wedding planner- their wedding isle just mesmorized me). He brought me flowers and my favorite candy all the time. We went to Yorktown Beach all the time, just to drive. Driving was my favorite. Excuse my language, but a guy with curly hair driving a nice sounding Mustang is bad ass! I was sold! He was my everything. After high school, we took a small break while I went to Oklahoma to tend to my grandparents for a year. But, once the “year” that we decided to break was up, I immediately came running back!!! And from there, we eventually became engaged, which leads me to the wedding… and then what happens after the wedding.

People don’t tell you what to expect. They don’t tell you what happens next. They don’t forewarn you that it isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. It’s not always gorgeous sunsets at night and great coffee chats in the moring. It’s not always fun or easy… and no one told us that! How could all of these people that we cared about so much not tell us the rules on how to play the game?

I’ll tell you why; every game is different. Not one marriage is the same. And trust me on this, not all advice you get is the best. Some of it is great, and worth the listen, but… don’t believe everything you hear. It isn’t that the person is trying to give you bad advice, but what works for them may not work for you.

Adam and I are both sagitarius- which, if y’all know anything about that, stubborn is pretty much the number one feature. We are both soooooooo stubborn it’s not even funny. So when it comes to apologizing, that is like pulling teeth from a lion. DIFFICULT to say the least. When we are good, we are amazing, almost heavenly. But when we are bad, stand clear of our path. But why? Why is it that since marriage it seems as though everything is working against us? Well, because everything IS working against you. With the divorce rate being over 50%, of course marriage is hard.

But, if we work at it, then marriage will last. And so now, Adam and I have decided that we will never work against each other. Communication has always been a hard thing, but now it’s different… we don’t yell, we whisper. We don’t call each other names. We don’t argue in front of our son. And we are 100% there for each other.

Now let me tell you about Adam now. He is an amazing father, he is a smelly shipyard worker- and those boys work hard for sure- he tries to skateboard 😉 and he STILL drives a Mustang (no, not the same one from highschool, but close!). He is my everything. No matter how many times he thinks he’s right (I’m always right!). No matter how many times he over cooks my steak or burns the chicken, no matter how many times he falls asleep on the couch- he does that A LOT…. UGH!- I still love him with all my heart. 

The one thing that really changed our relationship to better it is communication. There is nothing like communication. It really is key. We talk about everything now. We don’t argue about it, we discuss it. But the other biggest part of helping our relationship is the famous book, The 5 Love Languages. We read a chaper together every night and then discuss what we like or don’t like. It helps us discover our love language and how we can really speak each others love language. If you all haven’t read it yet, I HIGHLY reccommend it. It has helped us tremoundously!!!

Not that any of this was a need to know basis, but I do feel that everyone should at least be told that marriage isnt always amazing. You’re not going to be happy all the time. And 90% of the time, you may want to kill your husband (no, of course I don’t feel like that towards adam [; )But… that’s not a reason to quit. It’s not a reason to go on the search for the next. Marriage is tough and it’s work, but it’s worth every single bit of it.

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